Saturday, December 12, 2009

Stuck.

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Guilt. Fear. Insecurities. Anxiety. The heart is crippled. So is the mind. It's not a phase. Phases don't take a year do they? I don't know. Turning a new leaf has become routine. You walk the straight path 7 out of 10 times. But it takes only ONE time to screw up. And you find yourself starting back at square one.
Do you keep walking the straight path? Or do you give in to all the non-believers who have always waited for the day you falter? Or perhaps those who have lost their faith in you? It's worse when that lost faith is your own.
Oh, what now? You keep trying but no matter what you are judged in black and white. There is no room for 'because', 'but', or 'you don't understand.' The jury is also sick and tired. But you won't give up. You don't go roll in mud just cause you accidentally spilled coffee on you favorite shirt do you?
Despite being reduced to dust countless of times, you suck it in and accept. Owning up to your flaws. Owning up to the crimes you're guilty of. or even the ones you're not. The world continues spinning. Just don't go to bed angry.

I have a goal. Gotta keep going. Gotta. keep. going.

"Everyday I have arrived."

2 comments:

Abz said...

Great textures here.. you're gettin really good at this! :) Please check out the latest post I did. ;) Let me know what you think!

Riduan said...

tlanjang kah tuh?

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